#LeanInTogether: How to Be an All-Star Dad

#LeanInTogether: How to Be an All-Star Dad

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  #LeanInTogether | LeanIn.Org/Men #LeanInTogether TIPSFOR MEN: HOW TO BE AN ALL-STAR DAD Get the complete tips at leanin.org/tips/dads Jodi Jacobson/Getty Images
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  #LeanInTogether | LeanIn.Org/Men Involveddads raise happier, healthier, and more successful children.1 Moreover, kids benefit when that involvement goes beyond the traditional paternal role. When dads model equality at home, their daughters and sons grow up envisioning more possibilities for themselves. Telling your kids “you can do anything” is not nearly as effective as showing them they can! TIPS FOR MEN: HOW TO BE AN ALL-STAR DAD
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  #LeanInTogether | LeanIn.Org/Men 1SITUATION There’ssimply no substitute for hands-on fathering. Children with involved fathers have higher self-esteem, better cognitive and social skills, fewer behavioral problems, and higher academic achievement.2 Be an active and involved dad. Help with homework, read books together, talk about your kids’ daily experiences and dreams. You don’t have to be perfect- you just have to be engaged. SOLUTION 1 BE AN ACTIVE FATHER
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  #LeanInTogether | LeanIn.Org/Men#LeanInTogether| LeanIn.Org/Men One survey found that boys were 15% more likely than girls to get paid for doing chores.3
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  #LeanInTogether | LeanIn.Org/Men 2CLOSE THE WAGE GAP AT HOME SITUATION Parents often place greater value on the chores boys typically do (like taking out the trash) than on chores that girls usually do (like setting the table). As a result, boys spend less time on household chores but make more money than girls.4 SOLUTION Give your children equal chores and equal allowance. It's also important to show your kids what 50-50 looks like by sharing housework with your partner.
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  #LeanInTogether | LeanIn.Org/Men#LeanInTogether| LeanIn.Org/Men Watch what your daughter watches—women are often underrepresented or sexualized in the media.
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  #LeanInTogether | LeanIn.Org/Men SITUATION SOLUTION 3CHALLENGE GENDER STEREOTYPES Kids’ beliefs are shaped by the world around them, and girls are often sent the wrong messages. Traditional girls’ toys focus on appearance and caretaking, while boys’ toys focus on competition and spatial skills.5 Moreover, children's books are twice as likely to feature a male character in the lead role.6 Have your kids play with a variety of toys, and be thoughtful about what they read and watch on TV. Talk with your kids about the messages in media about women and men.
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  #LeanInTogether | LeanIn.Org/Men#LeanInTogether| LeanIn.Org/Men Girls' self-esteem drops 3.5 times more than boys between elementary and high school.7
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  #LeanInTogether | LeanIn.Org/Men SOLUTION 4HELP YOUR DAUGHTER LEAD SITUATION As early as middle school, parents place a higher value on leadership for boys than for girls.8 Girls are often labeled “bossy” when they take the lead, and they're called on less in class and interrupted more than boys.9 These factors often discourage girls from leading. Celebrate your daughter's efforts to lead. Help her set goals and reach outside her comfort zone. Encourage her to participate in sports or other organized activities.
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  #LeanInTogether | LeanIn.Org/Men#LeanInTogether| LeanIn.Org/Men Telling a boy to “man up” can be as damaging to his self-esteem as calling a girl “bossy.”
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  #LeanInTogether | LeanIn.Org/Men SOLUTION 5DON’T TELL YOUR SON TO MAN UP SITUATION Movies, video games, and comic books offer boys stories of men who are strong, aggressive, and in charge but rarely vulnerable or nurturing. Boys often emulate these oversimplified characters. You can model a more complete definition of manhood. Encourage your son to respect his own feelings and have empathy for others, and avoid language like "man up," which can be as damaging to boys as "bossy" is to girls.
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  #LeanInTogether | LeanIn.Org/Men Whenmen lean in for equality, they win—and so does everyone else. Men have an important role to play in reaching equality, and everyone benefits when they do. Children with involved fathers are happier, healthier, and more successful. Couples who share responsibilities have stronger marriages. Diverse teams and companies produce better results. Leaning in is not just the right thing to do—it’s the smart thing to do. Learn more at leanin.org/men PROUD TO #LEANINTOGETHER
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  #LeanInTogether | LeanIn.Org/Men ENDNOTES 1For a thorough review, see Michael E. Lamb, TheRoleof theFather in Child Development (Hoboken, NJ: John Wiley & Sons, 2010); Anna Sarkadi etal., “Fathers’ Involvementand Children’sDevelopmental Outcomes: A Systematic Review of Longitudinal Studies,” Acta Paediatrica 97, no. 2 (2008): 153–58; and Sarah Allen and KerryDaly, The Effects of Father Involvement: An Updated Research Summary of the Evidence (Guelph,ON: CentreforFamilies, Work & Well-Being, 2007); Craig S. Garfield, AnthonyIsacco, and WendyD. Bartlo, “Men’sHealth and Fatherhood in the Urban Midwestern United States,” International Journal of Men’sHealth 9, no. 3 (2010): 161–74; StephanieL. Brown et al., “Caregiving BehaviorIsAssociated with Decreased Mortality Risk,” PhysiologicalScience20, no. 4 (2009): 488–94; and Joseph H. Pleck and Brian P. Masciadrelli, “Paternal Involvementin U.S. ResidentialFathers: Levels, Sources, and Consequences,” in TheRoleof theFatherin Child Development, ed. Michael E. Lamb (Hoboken, NJ: John Wiley& Sons, 2004): 222–71. 2 For a thorough review, see Lamb, TheRoleof the Father in Child Development; Sarkadi et al., “Fathers’ Involvement and Children’sDevelopmental Outcomes,” pp. 153–58; and Allen and Daly, TheEffectsof FatherInvolvement. 3 Institute forSocial Research, Time, Money, and Who DoestheLaundry, Universityof Michigan,Research Update (2007), http://deepblue.lib.umich.edu/bitstream/handle/2027.42/61984/chores.pdf;jsessionid=078CC6AA26FE5BDFB6482 CE63BB0F4F1]; 4 Institute forSocial Research, Time, Money, and Who DoestheLaundry; and “GenderPayGap Starts at Home as Boys Earn Morefor Household Chores,” surveyby PktMny(2013), http://www.gohenry.co.uk/blog/gender-pay-gap/ 5 Judith E. Owen Blakemore and Rene E. Centers, “Characteristicsof Boys’ and Girls’ Toys,” Sex Roles 53, nos. 9–10 (2005): 619–33.
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  #LeanInTogether | LeanIn.Org/Men 6Mykol C. Hamilton et al., “GenderStereotyping and Under-representation of Female Characters in 200 Popular Children’sPictureBooks: A Twenty-first CenturyUpdate,” Sex Roles55, nos. 11–12(2006):757–65 . 7 American Association of University Women, Shortchanging Girls, Shortchanging America (1991). http://www.aauw.org/files/2013/02/shortchanging-girls-shortchanging-america-executive-summary.pdf. 8 Kathleen Mullan Harrisand J. Richard Udry, National Longitudinal Study of AdolescentHealth (Add Health), 1994– 2008, ICPSR21600-v14,Chapel Hill, NC:Carolina PopulationCenter, Universityof North Carolina at Chapel Hill/Ann Arbor, MI: Inter-universityConsortiumforPolitical and Social Research, http://www.icpsr.umich.edu/icpsrweb/ICPSR/studies/21600. 9 American Association of University Women, How SchoolsShortchangeGirls(1992) http://www.aauw.org/files/2013/02/how-schoolsshortchange-girls-executive-summary.pdf;Myra Sadkerand David M. Sadker, Failing atFairness: How Our SchoolsCheatGirls(NewYork: CharlesScribner’sSons, 1994); and Elizabeth J. Whittet al., “Women’sPerceptionsof a ‘ChillyClimate’ and CognitiveOutcomesin College: Additional Evidence,” Journal of CollegeStudentDevelopment40, no. 2(1999): 163–77. ENDNOTES