Six dead bodies. No breasts. One dead jeep. Zombie mannequins. Viscous attack dolls. Crockery smashing. Arm ripping. Bimbo dunking. Psychopathic cross-dressing. Random telekinesis by a guy who can't spell “telekinesis.” Iron rod through the back. Ball-peen hammer fight. Mannequin dogpile. Armed-and-dangerous animatronics. Designer scarf strangling. Excessive window crashing. Musical score by Pino Donaggio. Axe to the neck. Multiple bimbos in hot pants and cutoff shorts. Gratuitous Dr. Pepper dispensing. Heads roll. Arms roll. Legs roll. Eyeballs roll. Crowbar Fu. Shotgun Fu. Tomahawk Fu. Creepy mumbling on the soundtrack. Drive-In Academy Award nominations for Chuck Conners, Tanya Roberts, Jocelyn Jones, Robin Sherwood, and Dawn Jeffory. ★★★½

Twelve dead bodies. No Breasts. Head rolls. Death by scalding. Attempted child rape. Arrow through the neck. Knife to the spine. Bees to the face. The ol’ shaving cream prank. The ol’ butt face prank. Multiple screaming children. Death by scalding. Excellent creepy violins. Two fistfights (with dogpile). Water balloon fight. Gratuitous homoerotic bare-assed skinny-dipping. Speedboat Fu. Cooking pot Fu. Curling iron Fu. Canoe Fu. Watersnake Fu. Male camp counselors wearing gym shorts so tight they look like saran wrap on a hot dog Fu. Drive-In Academy Award nominations for Desiree Gould, Chris Collet, Karen Fields, Mike Kellin, Owen Hughes, and Felissa Rose. ★★★½

Seventeen dead bodies. Eight breasts. One dead Santa Claus. Multiple bloody armpits. Two riots (hazmat suit, rifle-toting assassins). Two motor vehicle crashes with explosions and fire. Porn music soundtrack. Close-up skin graft surgery. Vampiric post-surgical behavior. One new sexual armpit orifice. Zombie truck driver. Stabbing. Froth-mouthed green-goo psychos. Rabid psycho on subway. Gratuitous porno movie theater sequence. Head rolls. Finger rolls. Construction worker drill Fu. Plastic surgery Fu. Hot tub Fu. BBQ chicken Fu. Shotgun Fu. Drive-In Academy Award nominations for Terence G. Ross, Victor Désy, Frank Moore, Howard Ryshpan, and Marilyn Chambers. ★★★★

Ten dead bodies. Ten breasts. Cat & mouse. Vertical bayonet head slicing. Spooky-old-house maze fleeing. Aquatic throat sawing. Aggressive POV cemetery camera. Strangulation with reverse larynx spearing. Casket cracking. Exploding head. Double pitchfork impalement. Massively annoying violins and cellos. Gratuitous World War II newsreel footage. Gratuitous jitterbugging. Gratuitous roadster. Gratuitous hair band. Double-barreled sawed-off shotgun Fu. Bayonet Fu. Pitchfork Fu. Drive-In Academy Award nominations for Vicky Dawson, Christopher Goutman, Cindy Weintraub, and Tom Savini. ★★½

Eight dead Bodies. Ten breasts. One slime demon. One motor vehicle crash. One jive-talkin’ midget monster who talks like Barry White hosting a game show. Half-nekkid lesbianic dual spanking ritual. Extended shower scene. Reverse bitch slapping. Projectile puking. Expendable she-demon supporting actors. Extended Michelle Bauer nymphomaniac demonic writhing. One deadly taffy pull. One flaming pledge leader. Kung Fu. Bimbo Fu. Punk girl Fu. Whipped cream Fu. Giant handgun Fu. Bowling ball Fu. Heads roll. Scene stealing cameo by the great Buck Flower. ★★★★

Five dead bodies. Thirteen breasts. Multiple aardvarking. One beach burial. Erotic wife beating. Weird European music. Attempted live burial. One motor vehicle chase ‘n burn (with explosions). Blood slurpin’. Mutilated beauty. Spooky makeup mirror. Bloody window-spectre. Gratuitous murder scene (with rubberneckers). Gratuitous turquoise cocktail. Atmospheric long shots where the sky is orange. Foghorn Fu. Shaving razor Fu. Belt Fu. Fruit bowl Fu. Drive-In Academy Award nominations for John Karlen, Danielle Ouimet, Delphine Seyrig, and Andrea Rau. ★★★★

Seven dead bodies. Two breasts. Body hacking. Eye gouging. Beach scalping. Tongue ripping. Kidnapping. Virgin torture. Blackened-leg pizza. Body-part stew. Five-thousand-year flashback sequence featuring virgin sacrifice and heart ripping. Gratuitous boa constrictor. Gratuitous lecture on Egyptian theology. Gratuitous bikini girl segment. Butcher knife Fu. Broadsword Fu. Machete Fu. Cleaver Fu. Bullwhip Fu. Trash compactor Fu. Cake knife Fu. Drive-In Academy Award nominations for Mal Arnold, William Kerwin, Scott H. Hall, Connie Mason, and Herschell Gordon Lewis. ★★★★

Ten dead bodies. Six breasts. Multiple face clawings. Gut ripping with body parts scattering. Seven gallons of blood (with splatter). Monster tantrum. Toilet bonding scene. Violent bloody non-elective surgery. Buzzsaw daddy splitting. Two attempted monster rapes. Orange panty fondling. Gratuitous kung Fu. Gratuitous Statue of Liberty romantic date jazz-montage interlude. Burger Fu. Time Square Fu. Hot dog Fu. Migraine Fu. Scalpel Fu. Drive-In Academy Award nominations for Robert Vogel, Kevin Van Hentenryck, Beverly Bonner, Terri Susan Smith, Diana Browne, Kerry Ruff, and Frank Henenlotter. ★★★★

Twenty-seven dead bodies. Eight breasts. Twenty-five gallons of blood. Ten dead born-again bodies. One dead attack cat (with three lives). Twenty-two zombies. Head smashin’. Cat smashin’. Flesh rippin’. Brain fondling. Heads roll. Arms roll. Eyeballs roll. Bonesaw Fu. Lobotomy Fu. Intestine Fu. Drive-In Academy Award nominations for Jeffrey Combs, David Gale, Bruce Abbott, and Stuart Gordon. ★★★★

Twenty-six dead bodies. One breast. Two hangings. Seventeen gallons of blood. One motor vehicle chase. One helicopter crash. Slime spewing. Eyeball clawing. Projection booth smashing. Razor slicing. Boyfriend eating. Finger chomping. Classic transformation scene. Bloody zit popping. Head hacking. Purple jugular-vein tumor throbbing. Heads roll. Hand rolls. Gratuitous coke heads. Coke machine Fu. Yamaha Fu. Grapple hook Fu. A ninety-seven on the vomit meter. ★★★★

Two dead hogs. One dead kitten. Multiple swamp noises. Dozens of terrified huntin’ dogs. Three-toed footprints. Hide rippin’. Orangutan theories. Hysterical teenage girls. Creature screaming, moaning, screeching, wailing and roaring. Gratuitous old-coot turkey hunters. Hermit Fu. Shotgun Fu. Features the line “Let’s all have a Coke, y’all want one?” without any product placement deals whatsoever. ★★★★

Seventy-eight gallons of blood. One hundred and forty-seven gallons of slime. Two breasts. Ten dead bodies. Chains. Barbed wire. Character actor taffy pull. Flaying. Clawing. Manacling. Gratuitous body parts. Gratuitous maggots. Devil sex. Blood gurglin’. Gloppola skeleton chasin’. Head bashin’. Rat impaling. Rat skinning. Face nailing. Claw hammer Fu. Drive-In Academy Award nominations for Oliver Smith, Doug Bradley, and Clare Higgins. ★★★★

Eight dead bodies. Nine breasts. No motor vehicle chases. One beast. Four gallons of blood. Chainsaw Fu. Waterbed Fu. Heads roll. Arms roll. Legs roll. Feet roll. ★★★★

Seven dead bodies. No breasts. Grave robbing. Arm slashing. Hand carving. Leg carving. Jagged-tooth licking. Chainsaw to the tummy. Extensive slaughterhouse trivia. Multiple cackling cannibals. Blood sucking. Plate-glass-window crashing. Satanic graffiti. Armchairs made out of actual arms. Automobile graveyard. Multiple chase scenes with nasty Texas thickets and cockleburs. Gratuitous booty shorts. Gratuitous roadkill armadillo. Gratuitous John Henry Faulk. Hand rolls. Hornet Fu. Bone Fu. Broom Fu. Burlap bag Fu. Sledgehammer Fu. Meat hook Fu. Mack truck Fu. Chainsaw Fu. Drive-In Academy Award nominations for Paul Partain, Jim Siedow, Teri McMinn, Ed Neal, Marilyn Burns, Gunnar Hansen, Kim Henkel, and Tobe Hooper. ★★★★

Nine dead bodies. One dead dog. One dead pet bird. One caged pig. No breasts. Geezer on a hook. Mumbling-mutant voiceovers. Hungry turkey buzzards. Tarantula stomping. Neck chewing. Bloody choked-bird consumption. Barbecued daddy. Baby stealing. Ax to the back. Cactus burning. One motor vehicle crash. Grenade in the mouth. Exploding pickup truck. Exploding booby-trapped mama. Exploding trailer house. Gratuitous air-force-fighter-jet tourist buzzing. Gratuitous obscene caller. Gratuitous baby-eating jokes. Tire iron Fu. Heart attack Fu. Achilles tendon Fu. Rattlesnake Fu. Drive-In Academy Award nominations for John Steadman, Janus Blythe, Russ Grieve, Robert Houston, Cordy Clark, Michael Berryman, Virginia Vincent, James Whitworth, and Wes Craven. ★★★★

Forty-seven dead bodies. Eighteen breasts. Multiple coke snorting like it’s the early ‘80s. Butcher knife to the gut. Thirty-foot line of coke. Multiple strippers. Stiletto to the neck during gay urinal sex. Russian roulette with an unhappy ending. Three motor vehicle crashes with explosions. Swampy graveyard group grope. Ceremonial-sword samurai in a lime-green leisure suit. Night-club firefight with swords. Girls track-team stalking. Body burning. Hand boiling. Nekkid high-rise freefall. Bestiality. Exploding car with fireball. Licking. Knife-throwing clown with wheel of death. Windshield blood splatter. The old silver-suitcase armored-truck trick. Arm rolls. Gratuitous street performer with pump-action rifle. Gratuitous mackerel lunch. Gratuitous oral sex. Gratuitous skateboarding supporting actor. Gratuitous nosebleed. Gratuitous Marxist lecture. Gratuitous gangster in a Big Bird suit. Gratuitous rugby scrum. Kung Fu. Grenade Fu. Automatic weapons Fu. Liquid fecal matter Fu. Heroin Fu. Rotten banana Fu. Old-fashioned ass-kicking Fu. Bazooka Fu. Japan Fu. Drive-In Academy Award nominations for Show Aikawa, Sei Hiraizumi, Riki Takeuchi, and Takashi Miike. ★★★

Twelve dead bodies. Six breasts. Random condom salesman. Multiple booty-shorted muscle-shirted mindless high-school teen meat. Multiple machete hacking. Hatchet to the face. Torso cleaving. Extended medical-condition voiceover. Gratuitous hippie. Gratuitous Ted Raimi. Gratuitous religious radio. Head rolls. Head hangs. Head splits. Hand rolls. Beer can rolls. Machete Fu. Turkey fork Fu. Cake Fu. Drive-In Academy Award nominations for Louise Lasser and Mark Soper. ★★½

Seven dead bodies. Four breasts. Multiple cemetery aardvarking. Grave robbing. Forehead drilling. Mineshaft plunging. Disappearing fortune-teller box. Hooded dwarf gang attack. Two motor vehicle chases with crash and burn. One ghost hearse. One drooling dwarf on ice. Aardvarkus interruptus with panty chewing. One 1971 340 four-speed Barracuda disguised as a 440 S Hemi ‘Cuda. Stiletto to the gizzards. Lethal flying silver spheres with retractable drill blades. One toothy slime creature. Dagger to the stomach. Attack dwarf. Fingers roll. Garbage disposal Fu. Dwarf Fu. Quicksand Fu. World premiere of the song “Sittin’ Here at Midnight.” Drive-In Academy Award nominations for Angus Scrimm, Michael Baldwin, Reggie Bannister, and Don Coscarelli. ★★★★

Twenty-three dead bodies. Two breasts. Exploding eyes. Multiple fireballs. Exploding hearse. Zombie monks feeding on human flesh. Multiple exploding heads. Electric drill attack. Needle to the neck. Hatchet to the forehead. Skull drilling daggers to the forehead. One flying monster hand with teeth. One motor vehicle chase with crash and burn. Face peeling. Heads roll. Hands roll. Kung Fu. Baseball bat Fu. Frisbee-with-a-razor-edge Fu. Cryogenic spear Fu. Drive-In Academy Award nominations for Angus Scrimm, Kevin Connors, Reggie Bannister, and Gloria Lynne Henry. ★★★

Fourteen dead bodies. Two breasts. Eight undead bodies. One dead collie. Two motor vehicle chases with crash and burn. Two exploding cars. Exploding hearse with fireball. Multiple exploding heads. Sphere to the eyeball. Sledgehammer to the cranium. Forehead drilling. Skull ripping. Two attempted deaths by hanging. Nightstick through the heart. Telekinetic scorpion smashing. Telekinetic dwarf smashing. Radioactive casket. Massive portal jumping. Yellow goo Fu. Shotgun Fu. Civil War flashback Fu. Death Valley Fu. Sphere Fu. Cain and Abel Fu. Drive-In Academy Award nominations for Michael Baldwin, Billy Thornbury, Heidi Marnhout, Reggie Bannister, Angus Scrimm, and Don Coscarelli. ★★★★

Twenty-three dead bodies. One dead horse. Flying sphere sharpshooting with two explosions. Multiple monk dwarves. Six exploding heads with green goop. ‘Cuda hijacking. Hijacking of a ‘Cuda hijacker. Head squashing. Triple flying spheres with neck kill. Sphere to the jugular. Nursing home firefight with zombies. Sphere the size of a small planet. Traditional sphere to the forehead with blood spurt. Non-elective brain surgery. Exploding bimbo. Dementia Fu. Laser-sighted machine gun Fu. Gas mask Fu. Drive-In Academy Award nominations for Stephen Jutras, Daniel Schweiger, Daniel Roebuck, Reggie Bannister, and David Hartman. ★★★

Eight dead bodies. Two gallons of blood. One dead dog. Two breasts. Ten beasts. Gratuitous C.H.U.D. hands creeping up from under manhole covers. One gangrenous leg. Sensurround monster growling. One Nuclear Regulatory Commission cover-up. One really bad clogged drain. Heads roll. Flamethrower Fu. One great performance, John Goodman as Cop in Diner. ★★

Eight dead bodies. Seven breasts. One dead cat, skinned. One extended chase scene. One motor vehicle crash. Random skull paintings. Abandoned toy room. Dangling clown doll. Chain strangling. Forehead wall-bashing. Crypt destruction. Casket cracking. Eye chewing. Spine stabbing. Whip wielding. Wine bottle bashing. Hooker shackling. Chambermaid bludgeoning. Ear ripping. Chain jerking. Butcher knife to the forearm. Sexual assault by claw. Thumb rolls. Breast rolls. Eye rolls. Mirror Fu. Rooftop Fu. Parapet Fu. Face slap Fu. Manacle Fu. Double baton Fu. Drive-In Academy Award nominations for Elisabeth Kaza, Jonathan Fuller, Raffaella Offidani, Jeffrey Combs, Barbara Crampton, Jessica Dollarhide, and Stuart Gordon. ★★★★

Eighteen dead bodies. Two dead monsters. Two breasts. Heads roll. Heads fly. One motor vehicle accident. One heist. Skinned-alive body flaying. Multiple bloody skeletons. Ritualistic chest-carving with heart extraction. One beatdown by goons in leisure suits. Bikini-model munching. Construction-crew chomping. Blood rain on the Upper West Side. Carcass pigeon-feasting. Multiple helicopter-giant-flying-lizard-p.o.v. camera angles. Gratuitous bikini-girl push-ups. Gratuitous mime. Gratuitous gargoyle montage. Machine gun Fu. Drive-In Academy Award nominations for Michael Moriarty, David Carradine, Candy Clark, Richard Roundtree, Malachy McCourt, Bruce Carradine, and Larry Cohen. ★★★★

Four dead bodies. Ten breasts. Three fist fights. Two motor vehicle crashes. One fat zombie. Butcher-knife creeping. One literal butthead. One double death orgy. Monster tongue-licking. Flesh eating. Flesh melding. Self devouring. Fisticuffs. Fistibutts. Involuntary tranquilizer injections. Multiple aardvarking in multiple combinations. Nekkid action-figure brain impalement. Voodoo shrunken head. Projectile suntan-lotion attack. Wire neck restraint. Dead cheek cracking. IV ripping. Eyeballs roll. Kung Fu. Wormy apple Fu. Writhing dogpile Fu. Swimming pool Fu. Hand vomit Fu. Paramedic Fu. Incest Fu. Double incest Fu. Double-reverse incest Fu. Mush maggot goo Fu. Drive-In Academy Award nominations for Billy Warlock, Ben Slack, Patrice Jennings, Charles Lucia, Devin DeVasquez, Heidi Kozak, Rick Fry & Woody Keith, Ben Meyerson, David Wiley, Screaming Mad George, and Brian Yuzna. ★★★★

Thirty-five dead bodies. Forty undead bodies. Four breasts. Two vicious beatdowns. Three fistfights. Bra lasering. Super soaker piss-spraying. Projectile blood vomit into the face of a girl wearing a white sweater. Multiple throat-cutting. Latin demon music. Double head-slicing. Head splitting. Head ripping, with spinal cord. Arm ripping. Zombie drilling. Ax to the brain stem. Face kicking. Horns to the tummy. Automobile engine head-squashing. Clown-zombie hand through the gizzards. Quadruple-head chainsaw whirlybird martial arts move. Chainsaw through the gizzards (again). Flying head-slicing buzzsaws. Stiletto through the mouth. Simultaneous electric-dildo ear-canal stabbing. Collateral damage head-chopping. Guitar lightning. Oral zombie sex. Demon worship. Bloody drumming. Bloody eye sockets. Blood spewing. Blood puking. Ear-stud ripping. Scimitar plunging. Gratuitous KISS makeup. Gratuitous lesbian warrior sequence, with ax. Heads roll. Arms roll. Torso rolls. Roleplaying Fu. Power chord Fu. Siphon Fu. Electric drill Fu. Rubber dildo and anal beads Fu. Beer bottle Fu. Hag zombie Fu. Weed whacker Fu. Drive-In Academy Award nominations for Daniel Cresswell, Kimberley Crossman, James Blake, Stephen Ure, Milo Cawthorne, and Jason Lei Howden. ★★★★

Seven dead bodies. Two motor vehicle crashes. Multiple sad romantic flashbacks. Haunted piano key. Possessed water faucet. Animated rocking wheelchair. Rushing wind. Banging. Pounding. Broken mirror shard to the neck. Trance sleepwalking. Multiple glass shattering. Multiple knick-knack hurling. Multiple toy-ball-on-the-stairs ghost signaling. Grave excavation, with skeletal hand. Excellent séance, with requisite bald-headed doctor and psychic hag. One creepy music box. Staircase tumbling. One fiery inferno. Gratuitous horseback riding interlude. Raging storm Fu. Lincoln Center Fu. Microfiche Fu. Demonic tracking shot Fu. Bathtub ghost Fu. Antique wheelchair Fu. Dangling chandelier Fu. Drive-In Academy Award nominations for Melvyn Douglas, George C. Scott, Trish Van Devere, and Peter Medak. ★★★½

Eight dead bodies. Two breasts. Throat slicing. Neck snapping. Face ripping. Hair dragging. Hook impaling. Multiple body dragging. Ax to the chest. Shotgun to the face. Young children being terrorized with graphic, bloody storytelling. Sword-in-the-stone ripoff called ax-in-the-stump. Excruciating hot-tub scene with even more excruciating musical accompaniment. Gratuitous girl talk. Heads roll. Ax Fu. Stoner Fu. Hanging Fu. Carburetor Fu. Drive-In Academy Award nominations for Alexis Dubin, Tony Fish, Paul Ehlers, and Joe Giannone. ★★★

Seventy-eight dead bodies. Twenty-six breasts. Twenty-seven gallons of blood. Multiple aardvarking. One wolf-village massacre. Three fiery infernos. Spontaneous internal body-ripping. Psychic intestine repair. Bullet through the eye. Exploding mountain. Multiple attack ninjas. Steel-bar bending. Close-up surgical torture. Multiple exploding bodies. Homeless drunk abuse. Leisure-suited gang brawl. Fat-guy kicking. Autopsy results indicating demonic DNA. Stomach slashing. Multiple blood-licking. Brickbat to the back. Wolf girl cranium clubbing. Ear biting. Junkie beating. Cliff tumbling. Choking. Head bashing. Throat slashing. Neck cracking. Flute-enhanced breast suckling. Suicidal gang-rape backstory. Two motor vehicle chases and two explosions, with fireball. Gratuitous superimposed floating tiger. Kung Fu. Karate Fu. Fistfight Fu. Yakuza Fu. Dirty needle Fu. Chloroform Fu. Poison gas Fu. Grenade Fu. Alter-ego wolf Fu, with twitching. Drive-In Academy Award nominations for Sonny Chiba, Connie Kobayashi, Etsuko Nami, Yayoi Watanabe, and Kazuhiko Yamaguchi. ★★★★

Fifty-eight dead bodies. Two breasts. Four dead car batteries. One ghost diner. One haunted teleporting ghost house. One pornstar demon. Three mass zombie-horde attacks. Forty-seven gallons of slime glopola. One pus-encrusted super-zombie. Burning-cross body nailing. Hand mangling. Forehead burning. Strangulation. Wrist slashing. Three-pronged hot-poker penetration. Pointy fingers through the forehead. Cackling-zombie neck biting. One lame fistfight. Two satanic earthquakes. Chest splitting. Gaping throat-slashing. Multiple nightmare flashbacks. Demon breast-pawing. Demonic children with spirit sticks and supernatural strength. Multiple maggot close-ups. Exploding super-demon. Zombie groin-kicking. Random skulls and skeletons. Exploding house, with fire. Flying crockery. Levitating meat cleaver. Off-screen child sacrifice. Dove tossing, with poop. Lasagna-tongue bimbo crushing. Irradiated waitress. Heads roll. Hands roll. Kung Fu. Beer can Fu. Fang Fu. Snow globe Fu. Latin Fu. Fog Fu. Dagger Fu. Pentagram Fu. Drive-In Academy Award nominations for Kym Santelle, Bobby Johnston, Eric Larson, Rufus Norris, Sherry Bendorf, Jack Vogel, Stephen Quadros, and Charles Philip Moore. ★★★

Seven dead bodies. One sacrificial rite. Bloody body-painting. Wrist slicing. Eye stabbing. Neck stabbing. Blood gurgling. Knife to the back. Demon visions. Extrasensory pay phone. One ram skull, with blood-dripping orifice. Ominous night-driving with cemetery. Disgusting candy jar. Disgusting hair in the shower. Eight jump scares. Vase smashing. Giant-butcher-knife wielding. Gratuitous Dee Wallace. Gratuitous lunar eclipse plot points. Gratuitous pulsating red moon. Gratuitous pulsating blue flame. Head rolls. Sony Walkman Fu. Pizza Fu. Fixx Fu. Pentagram Fu. Upchuck Fu. Drive-In Academy Award nominations for Jocelin Donahue, Greta Gerwig, Tom Noonan, Mary Woronov, Ti West, and Jeff Grace. ★★★½

Twenty-one dead bodies. Four breasts. Chest carving. Throat cutting. Neck ripping. Face ripping. Eye stabbing. One firefight. One catfight. One wolf cruiser. Bullet to the forehead. Multiple shape-shifting. Inter-species aardvarking. Pig-faced armed robbers. Bedroom handcuffing. Random flaming pentagrams. Close-up penis transformation. Aggressive projectile pissing. Chain lassos. Projectile vomit. Ceremonial-sword stomach plunging. Exploding barn. Excellent transformation scene, with slimy claws and close-up face cracking. Head rolls. Eyes roll. Kung Fu. Shotgun Fu. Satanic Rite Fu. Cocaine Fu. Drive-In Academy Award nominations for Jonathan Cherry, Sarah Lind, Leo Fafard, Amy Matysio, and Lowell Dean. ★★★

Fourteen dead bodies. Two breasts. Multiple neck snapping. Rat-tail comb through the eyeball. Head carving. TV-screen kicking. Soldering iron through the hand. Gratuitous cockroach spraying. Coke bottle Fu. Wine bottle Fu. TV-to-the-head Fu. Camcorder Fu. Drive-In Academy Award nominations for Tom Towles, Tracy Arnold, Michael Rooker, and John McNaughton. ★★★★

Twenty-three dead bodies. One dead rat. One ghost ship. Two gunbattles. Sixty-seven gallons of blood, with intestine garnish. Disembowelment. Multiple slime-secreting giant green eggs. Bullet to the forehead. Freeze-dried outer-space life forms. Multiple New York skyline shots so you'll know this is an American movie. Hazmat suits made out of bed sheets. Slo-mo chest splatter. Polar ice cap flashback. One shower scene with photography from the neck up only. One crash landing in the Amazon Jungle. Flaming neck. Cop devouring. Club to the cranium. Flaming whimpering cyclopean outer-space tentacled slime creature. Exploding sailors. Exploding naval officers. Exploding law enforcement personnel. Exploding Bronx warehouse personnel. Exploding fair-trade coffee personnel. Exploding mercenary soldiers. Exploding character actors. Exploding hefty bags. Exploding rat. Gratuitous face-slapping. Gratuitous serape-clad South American parade-goers. Gratuitous tour of a Colombian coffee toasting oven. Kung Fu. Flamethrower Fu. Machine gun Fu. Mesmerizing cyclops Fu. Outer space slime egg pet carrier Fu. Drive-In Academy Award nominations for Siegfried Rauch, Ian McCulloch, and Luigi Cozzi. ★★½

Three dead bodies. Twenty pre-existing dead bodies. Two breasts. One explosion. Multiple oil-drilling equipment, in close-up. One toe injection. Low-tech motor vehicle theft. Brick-wall punching. Hooker abuse. Gangster chewing. Body dragging. Two drug-induced freakouts. Multiple trance dancing, with deadpan punk lyrics. Child discipline, vampire style. Disco-ball spinning. That whole "will she devour me or will she love me?" relationship thing. Minor gender-bending. Homeless chomping. Sports-car keying. Spontaneous erotic ear-piercing. Heroin cooking. Involuntary wrist injections. Gratuitous transgender performance art. Gratuitous street urchin. Gratuitous widow-fleecing infomercial. Gratuitous vampire skateboarding. Gratuitous freight train. Finger rolls. Drive-In Academy Award nominations for Marshall Manesh, Dominic Rains, Arash Marandi, Sheila Vand, Mozhan Marnò, and Ana Lily Amirpour. ★★★

Twenty-nine dead bodies. Two fistfights. One motor vehicle chase. One brawl. One rabid junkie dog. Ground-seepage goo tasting. Exploding heads. Exploding Bodies. Multiple exploding buildings. Exploding Garrett Morris. Goo burning. Yellow-suited industrial worker sliced in half by an eighteen-wheeler. Organized child abuse. Bureaucrat devoured by a canine. Flaming motel room. Food tossing. One sucker punch. Infected attack bed. Gratuitous bikini models. Kung Fu. Shaving cream Fu. Drive-In Academy Award nominations for Michael Moriarty, Andrea Marcovicci, Scott Bloom, Paul Sorvino, Garrett Morris, and Larry Cohen. ★★½

Eighteen dead bodies. Eight breasts. Three chases. One motor vehicle crash. One gang rape. Two brawls. Face farting. Face melting. Motorist jerking. Ankle melting. Exploding face. Exploding fat guy. Throat slitting. Postmortem sex. Lever to the testicles. Penis bowl. Foot sawing. Multiple full-frontal gross-out scenes. The old one-legged crutch-robber trick. Strangulation. Grocery store destruction. Aardvarkus interruptus. Sidewalk head-bashing. Muffler clubbing. Cop choking. Groin kicking. Purple intestine goo. Crippled hobo flushing. Wheelchair-bound character-actor abuse. Windshield-wiper ripping. Rocket-canister head removal. Gratuitous wastewater treatment plant. Gratuitous Nam flashbacks, with cannibalism. Heads roll. Hands roll. Foot rolls. Penis rolls. Penis flies. Garbage truck Fu. Squeegee Fu. Toilet Fu. Grenade Fu. Postal cylinder mailer Fu. Drive-In Academy Award nominations for Vic Noto, Mike Lackey, Mark Sferrazza, Jane Arakawa, R.L. Ryan, Clarenze Jarmon, Bill Chepil, Morty Storm, Nicole Potter, Roy Frumkes, and Jim Muro. ★★

Six dead bodies. Fourteen breasts. Four Tiny Tim musical interludes, with vibrato. Seven Tiny Tim soliloquies, with screeching. Three Tiny Tim prayers, with bizarre non-biblical references. Three chases. Hanging. Upside-down hanging. Baseball bat to the face. Multiple throat-slitting. Dress ripping. Gratuitous slaughtered pig. Chloroform Fu. Foreclosure Fu. Effigy Fu. Paintball Fu. Steam Fu. Drive-In Academy Award nominations for Itonia Salochek, Dean West, and Tiny Tim. ★★★

Seven dead bodies. Seven breasts. One post-toastie prom queen. Zombie cafeteria. Haunted lascivious hobby horse. Lasered eyes. Neon wall decoration through the stomach. Stink bomb Fu. Water fountain Fu. Volleyball Fu. Bunsen-burner-to-the-crotch Fu. Drive-In Academy Award nominations for Brock Simpson, Richard Monette, Beth Gondek, Beverley Hendry, Michael Ironside, Bruce Pittman, and Wendy Lyon. ★★★★

Five dead bodies. One Dead Dog. One dilapidated spook house. Eight breasts. Aardvarking. Four jump scares. Multiple strangulation. Eye stabbing. Multiple choking. Meat-cleaver wall-pinning. Neck slicing. Random bullying, with jack-o'-lantern vandalism. Tombstone thievery. Closet crashing. Gratuitous footage from “The Thing from Another World” and “Forbidden Planet.” Cleaver Fu. Heavy breathing Fu. Knitting needle Fu. Wire hanger Fu. Point-of-view camera Fu. Drive-In Academy Award nominations for Donald Pleasence, Jamie Lee Curtis, and John Carpenter. ★★★★

Eighteen dead bodies. One dead dog. Two breasts. One excellent motor vehicle chase. Exploding gas station. Exploding power station. Pickup-and-shotgun vigilante brigade. Thumb through the forehead. Iron rod through the chest. Shotgun through the midriff. Socket wrench Fu. Fire extinguisher Fu. Reddy Kilowatt Fu. Straitjacket Fu. Drive-In Academy Award nominations for Donald Pleasence, Carmen Filpi, Kathleen Kinmont, Gene Ross, George Sullivan, Beau Starr, Danielle Harris, Ellie Cornell, and George Wilbur. ★★★★

Twenty-one dead bodies. Two breasts. Bathtub stabbing. Hacking. Hanging. Cleaving. Gratuitous mutilation of a 1967 Camaro Convertible with fresh wax job. Packing-crate spike Fu. Pitchfork-through-the-back Fu. Scythe Fu. Two-by-four Fu. Drive-In Academy Award nominations for Danielle Harris, Ellie Cornell, Wendy Kaplan, and Donald Pleasence. ★★★★

Eight dead bodies. No Breasts. Five excellent obscene phone calls. Breaking and entering. Feeding alcohol to minors. Throat slicing. Matron on a meat hook. Christmas-ornament bashing. Crystal-spike plunging. Multiple clueless cops. Grand-piano destruction. Gratuitous Christmas caroling. Gratuitous snowball assault. Gratuitous fellatio prank. Cellophane Fu. Fire poker Fu. Shaky-cam Fu. Asthma Fu. Drive-In Academy Award nominations for Olivia Hussey, Margot Kidder, Andrea Martin, Marian Waldman, Keir Dullea, and Bob Clark. ★★★

Twelve dead bodies. Two breasts. One snowbabe. One zombie. One fistfight. Multiple neck-snapping, with fractured vertebrae. Goo-face transformation scene. Ax down the throat. Icicle through the arm. Icicle through the head. Snow-fist face punching. Runaway-sled head slicing. Body-part Christmas-tree ornaments. Blow-dryer militia guerrilla attack. Two motor vehicle chases. One snowman rape. FBI eating. CIA munching. Heads roll. Arm rolls. Boot Fu. Mitten Fu. Blow dryer Fu. Aerosol Fu. Ice pick Fu. Rifle Fu. Vigilante Fu. Furnace Fu. Antifreeze Fu. Drive-In Academy Award nominations for Scott MacDonald, F. William Parker, Christopher Allport, and Michael Cooney. ★★★½

Twenty-three dead bodies. Nine breasts. One attempted Santa rape. Santa punching. Throat slitting. Leather-strap flogging. One car crash, with explosion. Gunshot to the forehead. Multiple dead Santas. Child bondage. Stomach stabbing. Gunshot to the chest. Bloody-umbrella plunging. Exploding Eyeballs. Snowman hacking. Face slashing. Ax to the neck. Ax to the stomach. Christmas-light-string strangulation. Testicle kicking. Deer-antler impalement. Claw hammer to head. Bow and arrow to the back. Gunshot through the garbage can. Heads roll. Gratuitous child abuse. Ax Fu. Fire poker Fu. Plate glass window Fu. Jeep Fu. Wheelchair Fu. Drive-In Academy Award nominations for Frank Novak, James Newman, Eric Freeman, Jean Miller, Elizabeth Kaitan, and Kenneth Brian James. ★★★

Ten dead bodies. Three dead Killbots. Eight breasts. Three pints blood. One exploding head. Three twisted-metal explosions. Kamikaze forklift. Gratuitous Paul Bartel, Mary Woronov, and Dick Miller. Foldout Fu. Pastel laser-bolt Fu. Turpentine Fu. Drive-In Academy Award nominations for Jim Wynorski, Tony O'Dell, Suzee Slater, Russell Todd, Barbara Crampton, Karrie Emerson, and Kelli Maroney. ★★½

Thirteen dead bodies. Seventy-six breasts. Finger removal. Cannibalism. Nipple electrocution. Hand severing. Eyeball eating. Molar removal. Brain drilling. Severed-head oral sex. Necrophilia. Penis sandwich. Psychotic dwarf dancing. Four heads roll. Hands roll. Legs roll. Fingers roll. Feet roll. Blowdart Fu. Martial-arts nekkid ballet Fu. Drive-In Academy Award nominations for Joel Reed. ★★★½

Eight dead bodies. Two breasts. Throat slitting. Garroting. Hooker strangling. Scalping. Exploding head. Subway stalking. Sword through the back. Bloody decapitation. Funky photo-shoot music in a room full of hot models dancing. Zombie-mother gravesite. Gratuitous Tom Savini. Time Square Fu. Mannequin Fu. Shotgun Fu. Drive-In Academy Award nominations for Joe Spinell, Caroline Munro, Kelly Piper, Tom Savini, and Bill Lustig. ★★★★

Five dead bodies. No breasts. One dead Barbie doll. Exploding buildings. Exploding teenager. Finger rolls. Cow tipping. Strip croquet. Gratuitous Cliff's Notes for "The Bell Jar." Gratuitous Swatch. Gratuitous issue of "Stud Puppy" magazine. Liquid Drano Fu. Gunplay Fu. Drive-In Academy Award nominations for Kim Walker, Carrie Lynn, Shannen Doherty, Penelope Milford, Patrick Labyorteaux, Mark Carlton, Lisanne Falk, Jennifer Rhodes, and Daniel Waters. ★★★★

Eight dead bodies. Two breasts. Twelve gallons of blood, often spurting. Brain goo closeups. Brain sucking. Brain spouting. Brain blowing. Brain eating. Brain draining. Brains alfredo. Ear flaking, with spouting skull wound. Frothing. LSD special effects not seen since "The Trip." Drive-In Academy Award nominations for Theo Barnes, Lucille Saint-Peter, Rick Herbst, Jennifer Lowry, Frank Henenlotter, and Gabe Bartalos. ★★★★

Eight dead bodies. One dead crow, skewered. One robot doll attack. One secreted mummy. One house fire. Three stabbings. Silent scream. Bloody cleaver hacking. Truck dragging followed by head squashing. Crocheted voodoo doll. Supernatural public lavatory. Psychic convulsions. Multiple butcher knife attacks. Drowning in scalding bathtub water. Falling glass. Head hacking. Teeth bashing. Blade to the throat. Sinister point-of-view camera. Multiple doll mutilation. One gothic haunted house. Horrific children's drawings. Multiple nekkid doll rope strangulation. Gratuitous inter-gender arm wrestling. Two heads roll. Telepathy Fu. Black glove Fu. Giant eye Fu. Pickaxe Fu. Diamond necklace Fu. Drive-In Academy Award nominations for Macha Méril, Gabriele Lavia, David Hemmings, Clara Calamai, Giuliana Calandra, Bernardino Zapponi, and Dario Argento. ★★★★

Two hundred and ninety-seven dead bodies. Ten breasts. Face sewing. Gut ripping. Ear lopping. Aardvarking on the beach. Slimy worm droppings. Vicious guerrilla bumper-boat attack. Face-eating rubber snake attack. Hari-kari. Crossbow to the groin. Twelve unemployed actors set on fire. Exploding jeep. Exploding boat. Exploding Cuban. Heads roll. Ears roll. Tongues roll. Gratuitous hymn-singing. Gratuitous Mexican hat dance. Kung Fu. Poison dart Fu. Uzi Fu. Baby Fu. Outhouse Fu. Drive-In Academy Award nominations for Michael Ryder, Brenda Brock, and Lloyd Kaufman & Michael Herz. ★★½

Six dead bodies. Fifteen undead bodies. Blood on the lens. Excellent one-armed zombie attack. Neck chomping. Multiple head-hacking. Axe to the head. Death plunge. Kung fu zombie. Vomit clause in an acting contract. Haunted water filtration building. Head rolls. Arm rolls. Kung Fu. Eye drop Fu. Clean freak Fu. Camera operator Fu. Human pyramid Fu. Splatter Fu. Upchuck Fu. Pentagram Fu. Drive-In Academy Award nominations for Shinichiro Ueda, Takayuki Hamatsu, and Harumi Shuhama. ★★★★

Ten dead bodies. Lots of descriptions of off-camera murders and mutilations. Fist to the face. Priest body-ripping. Thunder, rain, wind. Catatonic crime witnesses. Creaking doors. Bleeding wooden Jesus. Granny on the ceiling. Levitating paper. Blood draining. Dripping faucet. Writhing serpents. Bloody, windy church where the Jesus statues tumble around and watch things. Heavy-breathing point-of-view camera. Multiple headless religious statues. Multiple dream visions, with flying crucifixes. Swing band in heaven scene. Throat slicing in the confessional. One motor vehicle chase. Gratuitous Nicol Williamson. Creepy staircase Fu. Catholic iconography Fu. Police helicopter Fu. Dead bird Fu. Holy water Fu. Garden shears Fu. Drive-In Academy Award nominations for George C. Scott, Ed Flanders, Brad Dourif, and William Peter Blatty. ★★★

Four breasts. Twenty-nine dead bodies. Two motor vehicle chases. Arm sewing. Double face-slashing. Shoulder stabbing. Hand blown off. Head twisted off. Exploding neck. Knife to the head. Bloody-wound tub soaking. Golf clubbing. Human trash-compacting. Heroin in the bloody toe. Beer-can thumping. Hooker pawing. Heavy coke-sniffing. Urinal head-ramming. Bloody zombie ghost scene. Head splitting. Throwing star to the forehead. Heads roll. Thumb rolls. Gratuitous giant snake. Kung Fu. Baseball bat Fu. Seconal Fu. Throwing star Fu. Railroad tie Fu. Drive-In Academy Award nominations for Paul Harper, Marc Pitman, Bill Stover, and Jim Van Bebber. ★★★★

Twenty-nine dead bodies. Two undead bodies. One dead pig. Dead zombie duck. Giant Chinese food. Chicken animatronics. Exploding jewel thief. Two motor vehicle chases, with multiple crashes. Zombie machine-gun attack. Zombie machine-gun Mexican standoff. Five shootouts. Four explosions. Hot-tub electrocution. One zombie autopsy. One skeleton-head jump scare. One crazed sumo butcher, with cleaver. Multiple reanimated meat. Face melting. Exploding Darren McGavin. Zombie mixed martial arts. One hokey blue-light resurrection machine. Two-faced chemical punk monster. One porn-addicted zombie security guard. Zombie duck heads. Reanimated Treat Williams. Reanimated fish. Reanimated attack pig. Gratuitous Vincent Price. Head rolls. Arm rolls. Automatic weapons Fu. Patio umbrella Fu. Suicide Fu. ★★½

Seventy-two dead bodies. Seventy-four breasts. Eight peni. Hunting knife surgery. Nekkid stick-waving protocol. Nekkid cannibal-warrior target practice. Ceremonial mutilation murder. Skewered muskrat. Spear to the chest. Extended turtle evisceration, with closeup turtle-meat chewing. Spider machete-hacking. Bloody-foot display. Cannibal on a stick. Monkey brain extraction, with lunch. Pig execution. Village pillage. Thick white mystery-juice consumption. The old bonfire tree-smoke plummeting dead-woman trick. Forced cocaine sniffing. Fungus-covered grainy alligator food. Skull pounding. Intestine yanking. Cannibal barbecue. Torched grass huts. Two gang rapes. Rusty machete amputation. Involuntary ritualistic abortion, with cello music and rocks to the face. Adultery punishment ritual with wooden penis, mud-ball vagina-jamming, and boulder to the cranium. Sadists disguised as goofy hippies. Excessively romantic cannibal feast music. Indie filmmaker mutilation. Satanic skeleton worship. Nekkid Aborigines eating Europeans-on-a-stick. Gratuitous jaguar. Gratuitous cannibal rape subplot. Gratuitous butterfly collecting. Heads roll. Foot rolls. Dick rolls. Leech Fu. Spider Fu. Crocodile Fu. Snake Fu. POV camera Fu. Firing squad Fu. Poison dart Fu. Machine gun Fu. Drive-In Academy Award nominations for Robert Kerman, Carl Gabriel Yorke, Salvatore Basile, Francesca Ciardi, Gianfranco Clerici, and Ruggero Deodato. ★★★★

Twenty-four dead bodies. Four breasts. Face punching. Face stabbing. Neck stabbing. Multiple lethal body-stabbing. Scissors through the hand. Buzzsaw through the stomach. One heavy metal brawl. One brutal catfight. Video blackmail. Public aardvarking. Multiple fistfights. One spitting match. Dead-body pissing. Mace to the mouth. Broken bottle to the neck. One two-by-four beatdown. One multi-story death plunge. One two-on-one torture session. Two-by-four nailed to the back of a skull. Bonsai-tree consumption. Hard-drive hammer destruction. Fully-clothed aardvarking. Voiceover Fu. Security guard Fu. SWAT team Fu. Golf club Fu. Cocaine Fu. Taser Fu. Scissors Fu. Gratuitous Dave Matthews Band discussion. Gratuitous SWAT team psychologist negotiator. Drive-In Academy Award nominations for Samara Weaving, Caroline Chikezie, Steven Brand, Mark Frost, Dallas Roberts, Steven Yeun, Kerry Fox, Joe Lynch, and Matias Caruso. ★★★

Four dead bodies. Four undead bodies. Four breasts. One giant penis drill. Gunshot to the skull. One extended zombie chase. One face skillet. Reanimated zombie dancing. Multiple aardvarking. Multiple impalement with symbolic priapic artifacts. Leg carving. Wound maggots. Boil lancing. Squealing, groaning, synthesizer punk soundtrack. Open-sore explosions. Tube chewing. Electrical socket finger Fu. Umbilical-cord belly dancing. Serious zit-popping. Anal sex with metal hoses. Sprocket-spouting skull face. Face licking. Face scarring. Face ripping. Finger knives. Multiple body penetrations with pipes, tubes, drills and penile implants. Gratuitous tenor saxophone. Gratuitous gay subtext. Kung Fu. Metal Fu. Death metal Fu. Shaky-cam Fu. Fast motion Fu. Industrial waste Fu. Crotch nunchuck Fu. Tokyo Fu. Drive-In Academy Award nominations for Tomorowo Taguchi and Shinya Tsukamoto. ★

Eight dead bodies. Giant bloody tusk. One bikini photo shoot. Pig ransacking. Multiple giant hog eyes. Multiple full moons. Multiple headline montages. Giant hog vision. Gratuitous Elvis. Gratuitous ankle injury. Hurricane Fu. Cheez Whiz Fu. Drive-In Academy Award nominations for Joe Bob and Diane Jacques. ★★★★

Twenty-six dead bodies. Two breasts. Four undead bodies. Maggot slashing. Straight-razor closeup suicide. Grapple hooks to the chest. Zombie deep-throat French kissing. Whips. Chains. Eyeball juggling. Baby lip sewing. Aardvarking in Hell. Flesh burning. Heart ripping. Maggots. Skull spiders. Giant snake fingers. A ninety-eight on the vomit meter. Gratuitous "Poltergeist" effects. Mattress Fu. Drive-In Academy Award nominations for Kenneth Cranham, Ashley Laurence, Sean Chapman, Doug Bradley, Clare Higgins, and Peter Atkins. ★★★★

Ten dead bodies. Six breasts. Two fistfights. Forced aardvarking. Exploding pinkmobile. Exploratory surgery with a chainsaw. Pierced-chest sword hurling. Attempted reverse frog-lady rape. Bottle bashing to the head. Dance of the three snakes. One motor vehicle chase, with machine guns. Hand-to-hand cliff-edge combat, with eye poking. Hand rolls. Kung Fu. Bimbo Fu. Post-apocalypse Fu. Electro-shock chastity belt Fu. Bazooka Fu. Drive-In Academy Award nominations for William Smith, Sandahl Bergman, Rory Calhoun, Nicholas Worth, Roddy Piper, Brian Frank, and Don Jackson. ★★★★

Nine dead bodies. Two breasts. One dead pigeon. One chicken attack. Severed hand. Severed-hand sandwich. Bloody mattress. Giant exploding zit. Blood-spewing bathtub faucet. Severed-arm cake. Drill through the chest. Multiple homicidal drill penetrations. Wild-girl dancing, with stripper-pole humping. Noisy condo sex. Swimming-pool horseplay. Flaming rockabilly predator. Gratuitous “Tokyo Convertible” duet. Gratuitous porn fiction. Gratuitous “Rock ‘n’ Roll High School” footage. Knife trick Fu. Torch Fu. Drive-In Academy Award nominations for Atanas Ilitch, Crystal Bernard, and Deborah Brock. ★★½

Thirteen dead bodies. Two breasts. One whangdoodle, whipped out. Phlegm kissing. Eye gouging. Dismemberment. Head stomping. Head chopping. Head scalping. Prolonged drowning. Airplane-window suck. Felissa Rose mangled-arm vaginal-penetration oral-fisting cell-phone evisceration. Claw-hammer face destruction, with neck evisceration and cranium removal. Gratuitous water snake. Heads roll. Fingers roll. Arm rolls. Belt sander Fu. Hatchet Fu. Jet-engine Fu. Drive-In Academy Award nominations for Kane Hodder, Lola Miller, Krystal Joy Brown, Parry Shen, Felissa Rose, Katie Booth, David Sheridan, Tiffany Shepis, and Adam Green. ★★★★

Eleven dead bodies. Seventeen jump scares. One inferno. Pumpkin smashing. Spider vodka guzzling. Bullet through the brain. Cell phone confiscation. Scalding fire poker to the face. Fire poker through the cranium. Pitchfork through the brain. Pitchfork through the body. Nail gun attack. Claw-hammer mouth ripping. Multiple body bags. Nail through the head. Baseball bat to the skull. Superglue flesh-ripping. Claustrophobic passageways. Steel dart to the neck. Cement-block head squashing. Eye stabbing. “Guess the body parts” sensory thrill game. Hand stomping. Shovel to the head. Heads roll. Hand rolls. Stalker Fu. Trance music Fu. Clown Fu. Red filter Fu. Body bag Fu. Rubber spider Fu. Chainsaw Fu. Steam Fu. Escape room Fu. Sledgehammer Fu. Shotgun Fu. Drive-In Academy Award nominations for Lauryn Alisa McClain, Will Brittain, Andrew Caldwell, Katie Stevens, and Scott Beck & Bryan Woods. ★★★★

Ten dead bodies. Fifteen breasts. Two satanic altars. Back stabbing. Blood drinking. Pumpkin smashing. Pentagram dancing. Boyfriend tossing. Multiple aardvarking. Ceremonial dagger-flinging. Burning car, with explosion. Laser eyes. Pitchfork to the head. Pitchfork to the neck, with decapitation. Pitchfork to the stomach. Shovel to the skull. One hex rape. Girlfriend branding. One spider jump-scare. Demonic organ music. Multiple pentagram ceremonies. Head rolls. Shower Fu. Incest Fu. Devil mask Fu. Corset Fu. Drive-In Academy Award nominations for Bryson Gerard, Hy Pyke, D.C. Lacroix, Jeanna Fine, Katina Garner, Diana Trimble, and Regina Starr. ★★★

Six dead bodies. One dead pet. Two motor vehicle crashes. Multiple child abuse. Girl slapping. Leg stabbing. Ball bearings to the face. Darts to the ears. Wall destruction. One snowball fight. Knife to the throat. Ritualistic dog burial. Trap-door doggie net. Window-ledge balancing. Flaming Santa suit. Music so syrupy it makes your face sticky. Gratuitous confusing Bruno Bettelheim text quotation. Gratuitous automotive mechanics. Gratuitous art-gallery maze. Gratuitous Bonnie Tyler regrouping montage sequence. Cake knife Fu. Sledgehammer Fu. Slingshot Fu. Toy train Fu. Throwing star Fu. Fist-through-the-windshield Fu. Drive-In Academy Award nominations for Patrick Floersheim, Alain Musy, Louis Ducreux, Marion Bureau, Brigitte Fossey, and René Manzor. ★★★

Seven dead bodies. Sword through the eye. Ax through the torso. One home invasion. One drunken-employee Christmas party. One extended foot chase. One motor vehicle chase, with death plunge or life plunge, depending on how you look at it. Snow-globe smashing, with intentional glass-shard hand slashing. Toy-bag suffocation. Ornament throat-slashing. Parent stabbing. Torch-bearing suburbanites. Chimney plunging. Chimney plugging. Massive toy-truck theft. Santa Claus police lineup. Toy-airplane destruction. Aardvarking. Doll strangling. Santa strangling. Festive “Jingle Bells” dancing. Implied Santa sex. Gratuitous “Night Before Christmas” recitation. Gratuitous Macy’s Thanksgiving Parade footage. Toy-factory assembly line Fu. Butcher knife Fu. Drive-In Academy Award nominations for Brandon Maggart, Jeffery DeMunn, and Lewis Jackson. ★★★★

Nine dead bodies. One dead lion. Two motor vehicle chases. One massive brawl, with testicular standoff. One home invasion. Groin kicking. Closeup brain transplant surgery, with drilling. Homicidal car-flattening. Head chomping. Head stomping. Chest crunching. Intestine ripping. Cheerleader chewing. Stomach devouring followed by stomach spitting. Automotive aardvarking, with unintended consequences. Flower eating. Log munching. Barbell tossing. Body stealing. Dead-body shopping. Hand stomping. Rat-infested grave full of character actors. Fist anesthetic. Four heads roll. Gratuitous aerobic dancing, with spandex bewtocks closeups. Gratuitous brain probing. Gratuitous t-rex phone call. Baseball bat Fu. Lion Fu. Panther Fu. Drive-In Academy Award nominations for Theo Forsett, Terry Kiser, Paul Walker, George Pilgrim, J. Jay Saunders, Ellen Dubin, Ken Carpenter, Buck Flower, Denise Richards, and Stewart Raffill. ★★★★

Four dead bodies. Twenty-five breasts. Two bewtocks. Six whangdoodles. Multiple aardvarking, including nekkid cult-ritual aardvarking. One burlesque seminar. One bloody bathtub suicide. One bedroom stabbing, with ceremonial dagger. Goblet poison. Two fistfights. One catfight. Multiple burlesque acts. Weirdest striptease in the history of dancing, with red boa. Multiple occult love ceremonies. Eyeball zapping. Attempted witch burning. Prince-on-a-white-horse literalism. One pentagram altar for husband hunting. Impromptu date burial, with tampon-infused witch jar. Gratuitous harpist, with folk singing. Gratuitous midsummer Renaissance faire, with flutes, jesters, clowns, dancers, ruffled shirts and wooden sword-fighting. Gratuitous lute ensemble. One elaborate mock wedding. Rear projection Fu. Voiceover Fu. Pentagram Fu. Turquoise eyeshadow Fu. Potion Fu. Spell Fu. Tarot Fu. Drive-In Academy Award nominations for Samantha Robinson, Laura Waddell, Jeffrey Vincent Parise, Elle Evans & Fair Micaela Griffin, Gian Keys, and Anna Biller. ★★★½

Six and a half dead bodies. Six breasts. Spike through the neck. Hatchet to the groin. Electric-turkey-carver face plunging. One crazy inspirational self-help speech. One head-bagging ritual. Vintage TV to the head. Dead hippies. Strangulation. Surprise head-hacking. Face licking. Fake-boob pool-toy suffocation. Elaborate rape roleplay. One weight-room prison. Full-frontal college flashback. Beer-can wilderness tracking. Heavy-breathing-POV bush camera. Burlap-bag beating. Axe dexterity training. Groin kicking. Tree branch to the face. Ear in a box. Gratuitous belly dancer. Gratuitous banjo foreshadowing. Head rolls. Baby raccoon leg rolls. Neck brace Fu. Multiple cocaine Fu. Fruit stand Fu. Sleeping bag Fu. Watermelon Fu. Drano Fu. Drive-In Academy Award nominations for Beatrice Pons, Nancy Hendrickson, Frederick Coffin, and Charles Kaufman. ★★★★

Nine dead bodies. One dead bat. Two breasts. Twelve gallons of blood. An eighty-three on the vomit meter. One throat cutting, slow-motion, ear to ear, three times. Slow-mo crowbar body impalement. Fire poker to the kidney, stomach and carotid artery. One self-decapitating bloody mannequin. Bloody operating table, with body parts. Disembodied glowing eyes. One-legged doll fondling. Throat ripping. Multiple crying children. Extended rabid-bat attack, with sharp-scissor surgery. Two heads roll. Hands roll. Underground meat locker. Maggots in the throat. Slime glopola lizard-face genetic DNA creature attack. Gratuitous Lucio Fulci in an acting role. Drive-In Academy Award nominations for Silvia Collatina, Dagmar Lassander, Catriona MacColl, Ania Pieroni, and Paolo Malco. ★★★

Five dead bodies. Four breasts. One dead dog. One fake audition, with baton twirling, flamenco dancing, and stripping. One fake radio show. Body bagging. Thigh scarring. Aardvarking, with thunder. Neck breaking. Head rolls. Fingers roll. Ear rolls. Tongue rolls. Foot rolls. Bikini Fu. Dead wife Fu. Hallucinatory nightmare sequence Fu. Duffel bag Fu. Whisky Fu. Obsession Fu. Hot fire poker Fu. Dog bowl upchuck Fu. Syringe Fu. Acupuncture needle Fu. Drive-In Academy Award nominations for Ryo Ishibashi, Jun Kunimura, Eihi Shiina, Takashi Miike, Daisuke Tengan, and Ryu Murakami. ★★★★

Seven dead bodies. Four dead bunny rabbits. One dead kitty cat. Six breasts. Multiple fistfights. Chain to the face. Two Tarzan gymnasium-rope attacks. One roasted punk. Groin kicking. Chest carving. One drug dealer beatdown. One cafeteria brawl, with knife to the kidney. One hooker audition, with stripping. One Weirdbeard Alice Cooper theme song. One gang rape, with polaroids. One motor vehicle explosion. Two attempted vehicular homicides, with two crash-and-burns. One out-of-control motor-vehicle fender-and-windshield reverse-vandalism revenge car wreck, with fire extinguisher through the driver's window. One gang rumble under the freeway, with knives and bats. One punk-club slamdance head-bashing scene, with the Hamilton, Ontario punk band "Teenage Head." One flagpole death plunge. One biology lab massacre. Face-bashing self-mutilation. Gratuitous school bus surfing. Gratuitous school bus surfing. Gratuitous "Moon River." Gratuitous face painting. Gratuitous skeleton dumping. Gratuitous 1812 overture. Arm rolls. Massive graffiti Fu. Metal detector Fu. Video surveillance Fu. Spray paint vandalism Fu. Mosh pit Fu. Flagpole Fu. Broken wine bottle Fu. Fire extinguisher Fu. Molotov cocktail Fu. Buzzsaw Fu. Drive-In Academy Award nominations for Perry King, Roddy McDowall, Erin Noble, Timothy Van Patten, Michael J. Fox, Al Waxman, and Mark Lester. ★★★★

Fifteen dead bodies. Five breasts. Squashed zombie fingers. Face-eating zombie bat. Machete arm-hacking. Three froth-mouth twitching psychos. Dog-brain dashing. Man attacked by a severed arm sewed to a severed leg. Zombie-wife-killing police lieutenant. Flying bat head. Nasty nub molestation. Zombie dog, with one human arm. Screaming Mad George zombie jubilee. Heads roll. Arms roll. Feet roll. Bone drill Fu. Drive-In Academy Award nominations for Jeffrey Combs, David Gale, Bruce Abbott, Fabiana Udenio, and Kathleen Kinmont. ★★★★

Nine dead bodies. Three breasts. Multiple jump scares. Two motor vehicle chases. Nursing home aardvarking. Throat slashing. Eerie violins and cellos. Fork stacking. Sugar-cube pyramid building. Attempted pyscho rape, with simulated flesh chomping. Head bashing. Rat-tailed comb to the eyeball. Wheelchair quagmire. Wheelchair death sprint. Exploding diner. Massive thunderstorms, with gazebo huddling. Haunted faucets. Bloody fountain, with cherubs. Multiple schoolgirl flashbacks. Cat cam. Gratuitous skinnydipping, followed by forest frolicking. Gratuitous ventriloquist koala bear. Gratuitous bingo hall sequence. Gratuitous ballroom dance competition. One head rolls. Crystal wind chime Fu. Bathtub Fu. Nightmare Fu. Stalker Fu. Fuse box Fu. Shotgun Fu. Drive-In Academy Award nominations for Jackie Kerin, Gerda Nicolson, Alex Scott, Charles McCallum, John Jarratt, Bernadette Gibson, and Tony Williams. ★★★★

Six dead bodies. Seven fake dead bodies. One dead bird. Two dead werewolves. Multiple dead dogs. Two werewolf attacks. Casual wrist-carving. Fist through the stomach, with bloodsucking. Bathroom-door destruction. Flesh chomping. Close-up large-bore belly button piercing. Canine consumption. Bloody vomit. Bloody urination. Bloody neck-chomping. Kitchen knife to the throat. Coarse-hair close-up scars. One suicide pact, confirmed with hand cutting. Pitchfork through the neck. Dirty lacrosse body-checking, with bloody dead dog. Attempted trick-or-treater consumption. Shovel to the head. Two excellent transformation scenes. Gratuitous tampon shopping. Fingers roll. Lawnmover Fu. Field hockey stick Fu. Leg shaving Fu. Syringe Fu. Tupperware Fu. Self-infection Fu. Drive-In Academy Award nominations for Lindsay Leese, Mimi Rogers, Katharine Isabelle, Emily Perkins, Jesse Moss, Kris Lemche, Karen Walton, and John Fawcett. ★★★★

Three dead bodies. Three breasts. One whangdoodle. One child army. Chainsaw through the gizzards, with blood spray. One disgusting content warning. One accelerated pregnancy. One loony bin escape. Metal-rod head bashing. Wheelchair racing. Motor vehicle chase. Hooker beating. Roof jumping. Space car floating through a fire. Two fistfights. One back alley beatdown. Multiple puke-a-rama. Heart attack healing. Heart attack inducement. Loan sharking. Heroin cooking. Full frontal. Remote control eye blinking. Attempted bar sex, with national anthem. Massive molly consumption, with alien rave dancing. Bloody tooth-pulling, with pliers. One alien abduction, with chest lasering, brain lighting. Penis surgery. Multiple red-water drowning scenes. Gratuitous psychedelic intermission snack bar ads. Blue jean jacket Fu. Bloody needle Fu. Vortex Fu. Water hose Fu. Electrocution Fu in the imaginary portion of a homeless tent. Drive-In Academy Award nominations for Bianka Hartenstein, Chanelle de Jager, Johnny Pienaar, Gary Green, and Ryan Kruger. ★★★

Eleven dead bodies. Two whangdoodles. One chainsaw battle. One motor vehicle crash-and-burn. Two battle axes through the head. Exploding church. One three-wheeler monster-head biker gang. Mason jar goo drinking. One creepy black-hood kidnapping. Skull crushing, with eyeball popping. Body-bag-on-a-pulley execution by fire. Rope gagging. Neck drilling. Barbed wire mouth gagging. Bullet to the brain. One mummified lamb. Crossbow to the back. Weird drug dancing. Wrist nailing. Cross stabbing. Snake pit. Worm pit. Mining pit. Steel arrow to the neck. Head particles blowing away in the wind. Gratuitous King Crimson. Gratuitous Ronald Reagan speech. Gratuitous "Serpent's Eye" fable. Gratuitous hand-to-hand combat mariachi music. Heads roll. Heads burn. Heads spurt. Eyes roll. Kung Fu. Cocaine Fu. Hookah Fu. Red filter Fu. LSD Fu. Welding torch Fu. Battle axe Fu. Tiger Fu. Lizard Fu. Lasso Fu. Drive-In Academy Award nominations for Andrea Riseborough, Linus Roache, Ned Dennehy, Olwen Fouéré, Nicolas Cage, Bill Duke, and Panos Cosmatos. ★★★★

Thirteen dead bodies. Three mob beatdowns, with shovel bashing. One upside-down head incineration. One picturesque-as-fuck town, with rocky beach. Two motor vehicle chases. Throat slicing. Hitchhiker head bashing. Face carving. Harpoon to the chest. Aardvarkus interruptus, with knife plunging. Involuntary acid embalming. Grave robbing. Syringe to the eyeball. Face flaking. Heads roll. Arm rolls. Heart rolls. Drive-In Academy Award nominations for Christopher Allport, Lisa Blount, James Farentino, Melody Anderson, Jack Albertson, and Gary Sherman. ★★★

Zero breasts. Fifteen dead bodies. Neck snapping. Teenager through the windshield. Fresh-cement facial. Ear-to-ear throat slitting. Eight-story cop dropping. Bullet to the forehead. Aardvarkus interruptus. Face slashing. One motor vehicle chase, with paddy wagon. Two crashes. East River dunking. Flagpole through the gizzards. Gratuitous bagpipers. Kung Fu. Chokehold Fu. Stiletto Fu. Prison shower Fu. Fire axe Fu. Drive-In Academy Award nominations for Tom Atkins, Bruce Campbell, Sheree North, Laurene Landon, Robert Z'Dar, Larry Cohen, and Bill Lustig. ★★★★

Thirty-one dead bodies. Eight breasts. Stiletto through the back. Shotgun to the face. Neck snapping. Cop on a meathook. Two motor vehicle chases, with five crashes. Three guys set on fire. Kung Fu. Chainsaw Fu. Convenience store Fu. Drive-In Academy Award nominations for Laurene Landon, Robert Davi, Charles Napier, Leo Rossi, Claudia Christian, William Lustig, Larry Cohen, and Robert Z'Dar. ★★★★

Ninety-one dead bodies. Nine thousand undead bodies. Fifteen full-bore zombie attack set pieces. Four motor vehicle crashes. One runaway train. One reanimated zombie deer. Zombies falling out of helicopters. Zombies climbing all over cars. Zombies flying through windows. Zombies bursting out of train cars. Zombies falling off roofs. Military zombies, with weapons. Cities on fire. Baseball bat Fu. Drive-In Academy Award nominations for Gong Yoo, Kim Su-an, Ahn So-hee, Ma Dong-seok, Jung Yu-mi, and Yeon Sang-ho. ★★★★

Sixteen dead bodies. Fifty-six undead bodies. One were-cat. Three muck monsters. One fistfight. Pulsating tomb. Knife to the forehead. Random drunkenness. Graveyard dancing. Stair tumbling. Exploding head. Exploding grim reaper. One disembodied talking head. One scaly, tentacled electric monster, with exposed heart. One lizard creature attack, with pottery hurling & fire poker stabbing. One fireball breathing hag. One face-eating tarantula. One spider woman, with projectile teeth. One grave-emergent zombie horde. Leg slashing. Random hanging woman. Head-bashing crone. Live burial. Gratuitous mechanical toy. Gratuitous clown zombie. Heads roll. Quicksand Fu. Electrical cord Fu. Pickaxe Fu. Wine barrel Fu. Cobweb Fu. Sickle Fu. Acid Fu. Drive-In Academy Award nominations for Felix Ward, Alec Nemser, Maria Pechukas, Peter Iasillo Jr., and Lisa Friede. ★★

Seven dead bodies. Two breasts. One fake séance. Multiple brain bashing. Knife through the neck. Neck snapping. Hammer to the chest. Stomach stabbing. Ball kicking. Knee bashing. Butcher knife to the shoulder. Knife to the back. Closed-mouth kissing. Writhing-thigh closeups. Vanishing ghost-like serial killer. Extended van unloading. Dead body rearranging. Guzzling. Face licking. Extended slow-mo romantic stroll interlude, with beer can head-balancing. Gratuitous bird-chirping. Gratuitous relationship conversations. Ill-fitting pink nightgown Fu. Coagulation Fu. Budweiser Fu. Bloody pentagram Fu. Mustard Fu. Baseball bat Fu. Sledgehammer Fu. Drive-In Academy Award nominations for Mary Mendez, Ted Prior, John Eastman, Doug Matley, and David A. Prior. ★★½

Seven dead bodies. Two breasts. One dead dog. One completely nekkid surrogate mother wearing a devil mask, with beard and eyebrows and dog tags between her breasts. One sweater in the freezer. One tongue extraction. One blackened attack zombie. Skeletal hand torture. Multiple stabbing. Paper cutter hand hacking. Eyeball ripping. Neck sawing. Intestine ripping. Mini-monster hacking. Slimy-critter breast bursting. Shirtless flashlight-wrangling. Hand devouring. Homemade cauterization. Invisible strangulation. Finger eating. Creature flushing. Creature hammering. Creature slicing. Creature stomping. Door drilling. Closeup puke-a-rama. Gratuitous satanic cult dialogue, with Aleister Crowley diagrams. Gratuitous George Romero copyright information. Head rolls. Tongue rolls. Fingers roll. Pill bottle Fu. Whiskey Fu. Chainsaw Fu. Fire poker Fu. Drive-In Academy Award nominations for Amber Lynn, Barry Gillis, Bruce Roach, Doug Bunston, and Andrew Jordan. ★

Thirteen dead bodies. One dead puppy. Five breasts. Eight bewtocks. Four heads roll. Two wild pig attacks. Prelate spitting. Multiple pentagram creation. Consecrated-host crumpling. Chandelier body-piercing. Bleeding crucifix, with projectile hand-spike. Bloody heart-ripping. Multiple broadsword head-hacking. Floating Clint Howard demon. Blood drinking. Nail to the forehead. One attack rat. Strangulation. Pantsing. Exploding church, with fireball. Boot to the groin. Neck snapping. Animal-head prankster attack. Hitchcockian shower scene but with pigs. Multiple pig heads. Gratuitous skating rink. Gratuitous Kahlil Gibran. Amphibian fetus Fu. Computer Fu. Black Mass Fu. Drive-In Academy Award nominations for Hamilton Camp, Lynn Hancock, Charles Tyner, Don Stark, R. G. Armstrong, Eric Weston, and Clint Howard. ★★★★

Sixteen dead bodies. One dead rabbit. One horned goat. One whangdoodle. One street brawl. One home invasion. One gun battle. One hanging. One skyscraper death plunge. One motor vehicle chase. One makeshift satanic rite, with flaming pentagram and death metal mixtape. One Nazi street gang. Cross crushing. Cane clubbing. Elbow to the face. Random grave-desecration. Amputee abuse. Multiple face clubbing. Paint-job destruction. Mime abuse. Homeless theft. Tramp burning. Luggage stealing. Shoplifter pummeling. Girlfriend chasing. Book stealing. Foot abuse. Gratuitous Nostradamus lecture. Tarot Fu. Cigarette Fu. Gong Fu. Cryptography Fu. LSD Fu. Shotgun Fu. Electrocution Fu. Drive-In Academy Award nominations for Álex Angulo, Terele Pávez, Santiago Segura, Armando De Razza, and Álex de la Iglesia. ★★★

Five dead bodies. One railroad fatality. One burping, talking, flesh-eating plant. Multiple finger-pricking. Massive Borscht Belt. One extended chase scene in a toilet graveyard. Head rolls. Hand rolls. Foot rolls. Teeth roll. Gratuitous "Dragnet" voiceover. Gratuitous cartoon title sequence. Whiskey bottle Fu. Rock Fu. Drive-In Academy Award nominations for Jonathan Haze, Jackie Joseph, Mel Welles, Myrtle Vail, Leola Wendorff, Jack Nicholson, Dick Miller, Chuck Griffith, and Roger Corman. ★★★★

Forty-seven dead bodies. Three dead dogs. Ten breasts. Multiple amphibious creature rapes. Fistfight. Exploding fishing boat, with fireball. Crossbow to the sternum. One monster-motivated pickup plunge, with fireball. Exploding house. Exploding harbor. Exploding womb. Character actor munching. Multiple canine ripping. Heart stabbing. One slimy goo trail. Mouth ripping. Pier ripping. Flaming fish monsters. Head rolls. Legs roll. Esophagus rolls. Gratuitous banjo music. Gratuitous ventriloquist dummy. Strangulation Fu. Two-by-four Fu. Beer-drinking rednecks in pickups Fu. Underwater sea-creature point-of-view camera Fu. Drano Fu. Drive-In Academy Award nominations for Vic Morrow, Anthony Pena, Greg Travis, Linda Shayne, and Rob Bottin. ★★★★

Eleven dead bodies. Twenty-eight breasts. Two bewtocks. Stiletto to the gizzards. Stiletto to the stomach. Tender necrophilia. Pom-pom tossing. Extended furniture-destroying fistfight, with head bashing. Closeup egg sucking, with emotional subtext. Extended Hollywood Boulevard foot chase, with extensive gunplay. Body-part bagging. Attempted gangrape, with poetic justice. Random rollerblading. Mannequin shooting. Gratuitous fire eating. Gratuitous mime. Gratuitous cheerleader practice. Gratuitous bikers. Makeup Fu. Hare Krishna Fu. Haircut Fu. Handgun Fu. Six-shooter Fu. Drive-In Academy Award nominations for Rory Calhoun, Dick Shawn, Cliff Gorman, John Diehl, Donna Wilkes, Susan Tyrell, Joseph Michael Cala, Elaine Giftos, and Robert Vincent O'Neil. ★★★★

Eleven dead bodies. Two breasts. Sword through the gizzards. Sword through the chest. Locomotive corpse-mutilation. Spike to the eyeball. Mirror head-bashing. Creature aardvarking. Shovel to the face, with death plunge. Throat slashing. The old fake-hand trick. Random drunkenness. The old disembodied-finger-in-a-box trick. Levitating magician's assistant. Head rolls. Hand rolls. Gratuitous skeleton. Gratuitous Groucho standup routine. Gratuitous dope smoking. Gratuitous bad card tricks. Ax Fu. Fire extinguisher Fu. Stupid beanie Fu. Spiked alcohol Fu. Drive-In Academy Award nominations for Derek MacKinnon, Hart Bochner, Ben Johnson, David Copperfield, Jamie Lee Curtis, and Roger Spottiswoode. ★★★½

Seven dead bodies. One dead dog, with meat grinding. Extreme close-up eyeball chewing. Ice-cream-bucket facial. Worm-infested ice cream flavors. Supermarket chase scene, with grocery cart escape. One ice cream drive-by. Body-part ice cream. Ice cream parlor ax-smashing. Dead-head puppet show. Waffle-iron face burning. Multiple child kidnapping. Eyeball in a jar. Machete to the bimbo. Multiple needles to the brain. Cultish graveyard ice cream ceremony for the dead. Zombie psycho-ward gang fight. Ice-pick through the head. Full-body ice-cream-vat grinding. Gratuitous Pied Piper references. Gratuitous plastic daisies. Gratuitous David Naughton. Gratuitous Sandahl Bergman. Gratuitous racketeering. Heads roll. Kung Fu. Lee Majors Jr. Fu. Stigmata Fu. Fake bird call Fu. Plush toy Fu. Ice cream scoop Fu. Drive-In Academy Award nominations for Clint Howard, JoJo Adams, Andrea Evans, E.E. Bell. David Warner, Mikey LeBeau, Olivia Hussey, Jan-Michael Vincent, and Norman Apstein. ★★★★

Six dead bodies. Twelve breasts. Three motor vehicle chases. One swamp-boat explosion. One cajun-shack inferno. One excellent swamp fistfight, with drowning. One swamp foot-chase. Tree-trunk boat jumping. Bullet to the forehead. Banjo-twang foreshadowing. Pontoon-boat slicing. Hog-sty chase, with horse-whipped incestuous redneck. Snake wrangling. Gator roping. Gratuitous armadillo chase. Barefoot kung Fu. Rifle Fu. Creepy harmonica Fu. Spanish moss Fu. Cottonmouth Fu. Incest Fu. Bullwhip Fu. Lizard Fu. Shotgun Fu. Sharp-stick boobie-trap Fu. Drive-In Academy Award nominations for Claudia Jennings, Clyde Ventura, Bill Thurman, Sam Gilman, Don Baldwin, Douglas Dirkson, Janit Baldwin, Tracy Sebastian, Ferd Sebastian, and Beverly Sebastian. ★★★★

Eight dead bodies. Six breasts. Heavy metal stampede. Flaming Batman toys. Cockroach lizard monster that eats evil fathers through the stereo speaker. Electric werewolf-skeleton slime fetus, with teeth. Barstool through the heart. Gratuitous Lamborghinis. Gratuitous Walt Whitman. Principal Fu. Ashtray Fu. Tennis racket Fu. Drive-In Academy Award nominations for Karen Planden, Julie Adams, Carmine Appice, Carla Ferrigno, John Martin, and Sal Viviano. ★★★

Fourteen dead bodies. Twenty-seven breasts. Exploding heads. Exploding hookers. Exploding guinea pig. Spewing body parts. Brain in a jar. Brain in a fish tank. Drill-through-the-head psychotherapy. Head slicing. Candlelight dinner with severed head, with Beaujolais. Girlfriend-eating lawnmower. Gratuitous bunion-filing. Gratuitous Swede. Gratuitous Louise Lasser. Heads roll. Arms roll. Legs roll. Everything rolls. Drive-In Academy Award nominations for John Zacherle, Tom Hair, James Lorinz, Joseph Gonzalez, Patty Mullen, Edgar Ievins, and Frank Henenlotter. ★★★★

Nine dead bodies. Eighty-one undead bodies. Thirty-five dead undead bodies. Two breasts. Two motor vehicle crashes, one explosion. One tussle. One beatdown. One zombie picnic. Dad eating. Exploding truck. Tombstone head-bashing. Multiple bullets to the brain. Blood leaking. Crowbar head-bashing. Garden spade to the clavicle. Window nailing. Armchair incineration. Crowbar eyeball-gouging. Ghoul burning. Grinning, rotting skeleton. Tree bark consumption. Brick through the car window. Gratuitous animal-head trophies. Gratuitous music box. Sibling insult Fu. Thunderclap Fu. Slapping Fu. Fist Fu. Torch Fu. Molotov cocktail Fu. Rifle Fu. Grapple hook Fu. Drive-In Academy Award nominations for Judith O'Dea, Duane Jones, Russell Streiner, Karl Hardman, Marilyn Eastman, Chuck Craig, George Kosana, John A. Russo, and George Romero. ★★★★

Fifteen dead bodies. Meat cleaver to the skull. One drowning, with implied underwater-devouring. Multiple puking over the side of the sailboat. Tarot card destruction. One convenient ankle injury. One staircase chase, with cleaver. One thunderstorm foot chase. Head in a bucket. Throat slitting. Two graphic neck munches. Pickaxe to the leg. Pickaxe to the gut, with intestine spillage. Third-floor suicidal death-plunge, with rope-necked hanging. Knife to the chest. Wounded-pregnant-woman strangling. One spooky staring woman. One ghost town, with streets so narrow they won't accommodate a bicycle. Multiple giant-cleaver clutching. Multiple lens-aperture thunderstorms. Massive diary-and-journal-and-old-photograph exposition. Rat-infested catacombs. Graveyard imprisonment. Worm-eaten corpses in shrouds. Mirror shattering. Gratuitous German dead-meat tourists. Gratuitous stolen "Jaws" shot. Gratuitous whimpering dog. Gratuitous ski-lift gondola ride. Gratuitous changing of the guard at generic Athens government buildings. Heads roll. Tarot card Fu. Shriveled corpse Fu. Fetus Fu. Sarcophagy Fu. Drive-In Academy Award nominations for Saverio Vallone, Tisa Farrow, Zora Kerova, George Eastman, Mark Bodin, Margaret Mazzantini, and Joe D'Amato, better known as Aristide Massaccesi (a.k.a., Peter Newton, Federiko Slonisko, Michael Wotruba, O.J. Clarke, David Hills, Gilbert Damiano, Kevin Mancuso, Dario Donati, Joan Russell, Robert Yip, Lim Seng Yee, Boy Tan Bien, Chang Lee Sun, Fu Shen, and Leslie Wong). ★★★½

Seven dead bodies. Four undead bodies. Two dead hounds. One dead bat. One fistfight. Two stake burnings. Windowed coffin. Three million cubic feet of fog. One death kiss, with face pustules. Face scarring. Attempted zombie-incest. Bat beating, shooting and hacking. Fireplace prince-burning. Rope strangling. Torch-bearing villagers. Crucifix through the eyeball. Haunted stagecoach. Exploding crypt. Torch-bearing hooded monks. Scorpions in the eye socket. Flaming tapestry. One vehicle wreck. Vodka guzzling. Supernatural grave eruption, with slimy zombie. Closeup back-branding. Spiked-mask hammering. Mask-of-Satan liquid apparition. Multiple rushing wind scenes. Gratuitous mastiffs on leashes. Gratuitous drunken dancing, with tuba. Gratuitous bovine superstitions. Ominous voiceover Fu. Timpani and trombone Fu. Spectral pipe organ Fu. Point-of-view camera Fu. Trapdoor Fu. Crucifix Fu. Drive-In Academy Award nominations for Barbara Steele, John Richardson, Andrea Checchi, Ivo Garrani, Antonio Pierfederici, Arturo Dominici, and Mario Bava. ★★★★