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Bootnotes

Bomb squad descends on suspicious package to find something much more dangerous – a Journey cassette

North Carolina, but it could happen aaannnyyywherrre
80 Comments
31 Oct 14:02

Shift-work: Keyboards heaped in a field push North Yorks council's fly-tipping buttons

Local authority furiously smacking Ctrl+Alt+Delete
106 Comments
31 Oct 12:32

Woman who hooked up with over 15 spectres has found her forever phantom after whirlwind romance and plane sex

Ghouls just wanna have fun
119 Comments
30 Oct 13:45

Manchester man fined £1,440 after neighbours couldn't open windows for stench of dog toffee

Little by Little, he, er, Lost Control of his garden
80 Comments
29 Oct 12:34

Californian chap sets his folks' home on fire by successfully taking out spiders with blowtorch

Talk about scorched earth policies
54 Comments
26 Oct 16:30

Assange catgate hearing halted as Ecuador hunts around for someone who speaks Australian

World's worst housemate is so misunderstood
78 Comments
26 Oct 11:09

Yer a solicitor, 'arry! Indian uni takes cues from 'Potterverse' to teach students law

Siriusly, though Granger things have happened
28 Comments
25 Oct 12:20

Uncool: Google won't be setting up shop in disused Berlin electrical substation

Insists it wasn't chased off following protest and occupation by locals
47 Comments
25 Oct 09:11

Erm... what did you say again, dear reader?

Flame of the WeekEnglish-mangle-word-zels – fresh from Reg whippersnapper's garden
174 Comments
24 Oct 08:20

Science: Broke brats glued to the web while silk-stocking scions have better things to do

Oh, and many of the stereotypes of Gen Z are wrong
72 Comments
23 Oct 19:35

Cops called after pair enter Canadian home and give it a good clean

Mounties remind residents to lock their doors
112 Comments
22 Oct 11:21

FYI: Faking court orders to take down Google reviews is super illegal

NYC biz boss gets nine months in the clink for profound idiocy
66 Comments
19 Oct 22:44
Illustration of Julian Assange

London flatmate (Julian Assange) sues landlord (government of Ecuador) in human rights spat

WikiLeaks overlord challenges housemate rules in court
184 Comments
19 Oct 22:08
nick clegg

Facebook names former Lib Dem leader Nick Clegg head of global affairs

Zuck and Clegg in Silicon Valley – no, it's not the latest Netflix satire
98 Comments
19 Oct 14:31

Insects with farts that smell like coriander assist in covering up Paris's aroma d'urine

Sightings of Asian stink bug in French capital spike
31 Comments
19 Oct 12:20

From dank memes to Krispy Kremes: British uni eggheads claim viral lol pics make kids fat

Turns out getting diet advice from popular internet images is a bad idea
63 Comments
19 Oct 05:08

Chinese biz baron wants to shove his artificial moon where the sun doesn't shine – literally

VideoMan-made satellite to eliminate need for street lamps
109 Comments
18 Oct 05:12

Leaked memo: No internet until you clean your bathroom, Ecuador told Julian Assange

And we'll take your cat if you don't tidy up after it
160 Comments
16 Oct 10:48

RIP Paul Allen: Microsoft cofounder billionaire dies at 65 after facing third bout with cancer

ObitTwo weeks after he went public with illness, philanthropist Alt-F4s from this simulation we call reality
74 Comments
16 Oct 01:27

On the first day of Christmas my true love gave me tea... pigs-in-blankets-flavoured tea

And Brussels sprout... Give it a chai, says Sainsbury's
144 Comments
10 Oct 11:39

Indiegogo pulls handheld airport pervscanners off crowdfunding platform

What a time to be alive
40 Comments
09 Oct 11:58

On the seventh anniversary of Steve Jobs' death, we give you 7 times he served humanity and acted as an example to others

He was a saint
173 Comments
05 Oct 23:11

Sun billionaire Khosla discovers life's a beach after US Supreme Court refuses to hear him out

Hi, Vinod, is that permit application in your pocket or are you just unhappy to see us?
60 Comments
01 Oct 20:53

'Incommunicado' Assange anoints new WikiLeaks editor in chief

Icelandic journalist Kristinn Hrafnsson takes the reins
65 Comments
27 Sep 14:10

Don't get THAT personal, says personalised cards firm Moonpig. Dick pics. They mean dick pics

Really, people are sending them 'junk' mail
54 Comments
27 Sep 10:24

Overexcitable UK ads regulator gabbles that Amazon broke EU law

Adland self-manager taunts world's largest web retailer
20 Comments
26 Sep 08:47

UKIP doubled price of condoms for sale at party conference

Give the punters what they want until they can hardly stand or afford it
86 Comments
24 Sep 11:47
nigel farage

UKIP flogs latex love gloves: Because Brexit means Brexit

Safety first, folks. *Go on. Insert your joke about defending our borders below*
124 Comments
21 Sep 12:52
OK, I've got a smoothie for Alistair, one organic orange for Dave and a whole pineapple for Dante. Dante?

Deliveroo to bike food to hungry fanbois queuing to buy iPhones

Waiting in line for hours and fancy some avocado on toast? Pathetic!
79 Comments
20 Sep 11:57
Verity Stob gloved with pearls

30-up: You know what? Those really weren't the days

StobHappy anniversary, readers, from the original Git it girl
140 Comments
20 Sep 09:24
Huawei P8

Man cuffed for testing fruit with bum cheek pre-purchase

Brings new meaning to try before you buy
64 Comments
19 Sep 12:53
Boeing 777-267 B-HNL, ex-N7771, the first production 777 airliner

First Boeing 777 (aged 24) makes its last flight – to a museum

Feeling old yet?
107 Comments
18 Sep 11:51

Leeds hospital launches campaign to 'axe the fax'

Northern NHS trust to scrap 300-plus relics by new year
94 Comments
17 Sep 12:59
Trump

Trump shouldn't criticise the news media, says Amazon's Jeff Bezos

Who happens to own The Washington Post newspaper
finger

US govt concedes that you can indeed f**k Nazis online: Domain-name swear ban lifted

NSFWFamous seven dirty little words allowed in .us addresses
59 Comments
13 Sep 19:45
A male hand scrubs a floor

A flash of inspiration sees techie get dirty to fix hospital's woes

On-CallTech support scrubs up well... with a bonus BANG
90 Comments
07 Sep 08:31
fly tipping a**holes leave washing machine in a forest.

Software dev-turned-councillor launches rubbish* chatbot

*By which we mean missed bin collections, fly-tipping etc.
40 Comments
05 Sep 08:10
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