Science macht besser

It’s 7:00. In six hours, I’ll undergo a five-hour surgery. I’m excited, but at the same time, emotionally exhausted. I just want it to happen already and finally recover from the accident I had while jogging on September 21th.

I’ve spent all this time visiting countless specialists, many of whom were in Germany. I’d like to believe I was just unlucky, but truthfully, I felt abandoned. From MRIs that never happened because they were deemed “unjustified” to doctors telling my wife to take care of me so that I could lose weight and strengthen the muscles that might compensate for my torn ligaments.

“Natur macht besser,” a neurosurgeon said, suggesting I let a nerve—which hasn’t shown any signs of recovery—heal on its own.

Another doctor seemed more surprised by the fact that I had painted nails rather than my wife. And let’s not even talk about the dismissive comments:

• “Forget about running again—only in the swimming pool.”
• The casual bro-like chitchat about a German footballer who played most of his career without ligaments.

I would have appreciated a simple, honest response like:

“This is urgent, but I don’t have the resources, experience, or willingness to try a solution.”

That would have been completely fine. No one is an expert in everything.

But was it racism? I doubt it. I’d say it’s more about being on the conservative side of the medical spectrum, leading to a loss of surgical expertise. There was also a bit of the classic “I’ve never seen this before” mental short circuit. So what? The human body is complex. Interestingly, the people that couldn’t admit they didn’t know about something were male doctors.

And then there’s the specialization issue—“I do muscles,” “I do bones.” Welcome to the inefficiencies of the system. As if dealing with the pain and the looming possibility of a nerve that won’t recover wasn’t enough, I also had to coordinate everything myself.

I’d be lying if I said this whole experience hasn’t made me question what I’m doing in Germany. Sure, I had noticed bureaucratic inefficiencies before, but when it comes to health, the stakes are much higher. My taxes feel worthless—at least on the healthcare front.

Here in Spain, everything feels so much easier. Yes, it helps that I’m a native speaker, but more than that, they guide you through the system until they find a solution. They take responsibility for coordinating your care. I’m going through the private system here—since it was the only way to find a specialist capable of handling my case—but the public system works the same way.

People actually want to help. They generally understand what you’re going through and do their best to make the process more bearable. This is how I always imagined healthcare should be, but Germany’s system failed me.

Wish me luck. I’ll be fasting for the next six hours, and if everything goes well, I’ll update you tomorrow.

Take care of yourselves.